I have a friend who grew up in Nigeria. As a child, his family would pray before going on a journey across their city. They never felt sure that they would arrive safely. His parents led him in everyday dependence on the Lord.
The illusion of independence
For many of us, our transport is safe, our jobs are secure, our banks store our money and our doctors are on hand for emergencies. Becoming a parent may be the first time we discover that we are not in control. During the pre-school years we can usually (eventually) force our child to bend to our will. In the primary school years, we might be able to tackle problems through conversations with teachers, or by closely policing our children every minute. We can often wipe away the tears and wrap our arms around our child to keep them safe. Whether the threat is external (such as hard friendships, poverty or accidents) or internal (their own weaknesses and sinful nature), we eventually have to acknowledge that our arms are not big enough to protect them from every danger or crisis.
Depending on the Lord
Of course, parenting is not the only way to learn dependence on the Lord. For some, parenting feels like a piece of cake compared to their other difficult life experiences. Yet whatever our situation, every Christian is called to depend completely on the Lord.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6, NIVUK)
To be a Christian is to be on a permanent apprenticeship in dependence. We believe that the Lord is doing a good work in us in all circumstances; to trust God completely is to enjoy his straight paths.
A friend has a brother with long-term severe mental illness. Before she became a Christian she felt totally responsible for him, “The buck stopped with me. I had to fix him. It was all on me.” She talks passionately about the difference that becoming a Christian made. Her love for her brother grew, but the responsibility for him became the Lord’s. Her burden was lifted. That is her experience of trusting in the Lord with all her heart.
Teaching our children dependent faith
For parents, there is a saying, “You’re only ever as happy as your least happy child.” It can take a significant or even catastrophic event to learn to depend on the Lord for our, and our children’s, well-being. Have we understood that the Lord knows and loves our children even more than we do? We will be loving our friends well if we help them to make the connection between their love for their child and the Lord’s desire to be their rock. We do not need to control our child’s every moment, every decision or every word. We are parenting for the day we are not there. Ultimately, our role is to show our children the Lord, so that they trust him, not us, in their time of need.
Ed Drew is the Director of Faith in Kids.
A longer version of this article appeared in the January 2024 edition of Evangelicals Now.
